Thinking beyond today

Now that Ben's semester is well underway, and I'm working a lot and sleeping less (third trimester thing), when we have time together, we are oftentimes focused on the here and now, the to-do list, and the daily catch-up.  We try to sneak in conversations about bigger picture things, what God is teaching us, how we're being challenged and growing (my belly included!).  They are a bit harder to come by these days.  One of these conversations did happen, through, a couple of weeks ago.  I think it was a rainy Sunday afternoon.  

Ben had been reading this verse below and it led us to a beautiful conversation about Heaven, hope, God's glory revealed and other refreshing thoughts.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.       ~ 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Ben observed Paul's use of the word "light" in verse 17.  That word typically refers to God's light, bringing light to a dark world, etc.  This time, Paul uses it in reference to our troubles here on earth.  Light troubles. That can almost seem like an oxymoron in this world! So Ben and I talked about this, about how if these troubles (which seem so dark and heavy at times) are actually light in comparison to the weight of eternal glory that's coming, we must be in for a glorious, joyous treat when we enter Heaven's gates (or when Jesus returns).  

We then started dreaming about Heaven together.  We shared our imaginations and felt like little children dreaming of their futures as firemen and ballerinas.  For a time, we escaped from this world and took a glorious journey, dreaming together with childlike wonder about Heaven, about God's glory and how unfathomable it really is (but how fun it is to make guesses).  

It was true refreshment for us both.     

A Video of Us

This short video expands on the Our Story section of our website.  It shares more about Ben's career change, how he was led by the Lord to get his counseling degree, and which clients he sees himself working with in the future.  It is also a chance for us to say THANK YOU for being in our lives and includes ways you can come alongside us in this season.
Enjoy!

Security

One of my all-time favorite quotes is:

"Security is not found in the absence of danger, but in the presence of Jesus."

I believe it is from John Eldredge's excellent book Captivating.

It was on my email signature for years.  I have meditated over it, prayed it and tried to seek the Lord's peace through it many a time.  Danger will come.  It's inevitable.  It takes many forms, whether physical danger, internal fear, inability to connect with others, depression, anxiety, grief, etc.  That security can still be found in the midst of these difficult times is something only from Jesus, and even for strong, grace-filled Christians, what we perceive to be security in the earthly sense is still not always felt.

As I reflect today on the first "September 11th," twelve years ago, I have found myself not thinking back to that day but rather to the week, and even night, before it.  My Junior year at Pepperdine was underway.  Life was good and promising. (With the exception of my dorm room having flooded a few days prior.  Thus, I had to relocate to another room for a couple of weeks while the mess was cleaned and the carpets were replaced.)

My memory is clear about a few moments in this period of time.  The theme was, most interestingly, patriotism.  Having been born and raised in the USA in the 80's and 90's, I never questioned my security in this country.  I felt protected but completely took it for granted.  I never analyzed my security.  I didn't need to.  It was always just there.  It wasn't something I thought about beyond feeling the occasional pride for the red, white and blue on national holidays.

Until a week prior to September 11th.  

I remember walking down the main road on campus one night, looking down at the black ocean in the (not too distant) distance.  Out of nowhere, I was overcome by the strongest sense of thankfulness for my freedom that I had ever felt in my life.  It hit me, overtook me, felt like a Holy Spirit moment when the Spirit takes a hold of you and speaks loudly to your heart and soul.  For the first time in my life, I really got what it meant to be a free, secure American, to live in a country where one can feel protected, safe, secure.  And I felt oh so thankful to God for choosing this country to be my home.  I recognized that the majority of people in this world do not live in a country that gives them this same freedom and my heart grieved deeply for them.  It was a pivotal, profound moment in my life that I'll never forget and will hold dear for the rest of my life.

Fast forward a week to the night of September 10th.  I was getting ready for bed in and (again) out of nowhere, started singing This is My Country.  My pride for America had been with me all week and this was, in a way, the grand finale of that patriotism.  I sang proudly and celebrated the words as I had never done before.  I was on fire as an American!  I couldn't have felt more joyful, thankful and secure than I was feeling then.

Of course, we all know what the following morning brought our country.  Everything changed.  This beautiful picture of American freedom that I had only recently really grabbed hold of had been stolen from me and millions of others.  The security I felt in my country was gone.  And I was devastated on so many levels.

As I have been reflecting on these moments past throughout today, I can't help but be reminded of the top quote.  Twelve years and one day ago, my sense of security was more strongly aligned with the USA than it ever had been and ever would be again.  It felt completely unshakable and I felt totally safe to place my security in the hands of this great country.  And yet, I was let down.  My freedom felt shattered the next day.

It's such a great truth for me to remember today that there's actually only One who can be wholeheartedly trusted with my security.  He willingly gave it to me as a precious gift on the day when He lost His own.  No longer do I have to settle for hoping in things (or countries) that have, and will continually let me down.  I can actually rest in the One who keeps me secure always, even in the midst of danger, uncertainty, anxiety, fear, etc.  For this, I am eternally thankful.      

The Second Trimester

This has been, far and away, one of the most exciting seasons of my life, if not the most exciting.  The second trimester is what I'm referring to here.  The first, as shared about here, was tough.  This trimester, thankfully, has been awesome!

My appetite has returned to pretty much normal (although, I still find myself with some "first trimester aversions" which are things I could only eat in those first months, like avocados and orange juice, I can't eat now!).  I am even now waking up in the middle of the night for a snack - Baby Girl is gettin' hungry!

My favorite part has been watching my belly grow and feeling Baby move inside of me.  It's wild!  There are some weeks where I feel like every day I gain an inch around my belly!  And those sweet flutters by sweet Baby are, well, so so sweet.  Ben has gotten to feel her move a few times too which has resulted in beautiful moments shared between *our family*.  Love it!

Below are some pictures taken a couple of weeks ago by our very talented friend Brandy Nicks.  (She also took the pics on our website!)  These are Ben, Baby and me in the prime of our second trimester.  Enjoy!

And here are a few extras of our current little family... Ben, Laurie, Baby and Ruffles!